Week 7 -A little bit of poetry

I occasionally write a bit of poetry and so I thought it would be good to try and get one printed or published for one of my 50th things.
However, it occurred to me that publishing on a blog was actually quite a challenge for me in itself as I'm not historically very comfortable sharing what I've written!
So here we go; a poem from back in 2008, when all the kids were at home and life was quite frenetic and very different than it is now! Its title is 'unspoken' so it seems quite apt.

Unspoken

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman, or is it only me

that feels that there are just too many things,

that seem to go unspoken

Do people know what I'm really like, can they read my thoughts?

can they tell by looking what lurks inside

and see the things unspoken?

Oh I want to talk, I love to talk, that is not the problem

but the hurt, the pain and all the stress and tension,

that's what goes unspoken

Why is it me that never rests and always has to be there?

Why do I not get a day off from all that 'woman's' work

is it a rule unspoken?

Who said I should be the one who has to answer questions?

can someone else not make a decision just for once?

please change that rule unspoken!

If I ask a question am I prying- or just plain annoying?

am I nagging, interrogating and giving advice?

shall I keep my thoughts unspoken?

When everyone's left the dinner table and only I am
 left

who is going to clear the pots - well her of course

it's that other rule unspoken!

Is it only me who thinks such wretched things? am I really horrid?

Does everyone else accept this is their job?

it's the role unspoken

Should I try and make you understand - just where would I start?

I want to tell you how I feel, I think it would be good -

to share my life unspoken

But it's a really scary prospect to let you see inside

what if you don't understand or care, or worse reject me-

perhaps I'll stay unspoken

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman - it can't be only me

I struggle, I fail, I'm sure you do too

let's share our worlds unspoken?

Karen Sadler September 2008

Week 6- New habits, or yes you can teach an old dog new tricks!!

Well although I only published week 5 yesterday, here's week 6 and now I'm only 2 weeks behind!! However, 2 blogs together, you can tell it's half term!!
My challenge this week follows on from the indulgence day, both literally and in theme. If you remember I'm trying to do things that I've not done before and so this might come as a surprise but I've actually taken up a cleansing routine for the first time!
Let me explain:-
During the very relaxing and thorough massage I enjoyed on the indulgence day I naturally got chatting with my very likeable masseuse. Of course it wasn't long before the inevitable question: 'what cleansing routine do you follow?' ( it's very reminiscent of that other popular inquiry from the dentist - how often do you brush and do you floss? )- at which point I usually panic and embarrassingly confess that I don't have a'routine' (and I don't floss)!!
This occasion was no different. However, maybe due to Jackie's persuasive chatter, my being 50 and having less'elasticity'in my skin!, my doing 50 things in my 50th year or simply because I promised Jackie, I actually determined to start up a daily facial routine,.... and even decided I'd try to floss regularly as well!
Now the interesting thing here is that I was telling a friend about this and she told me she'd decided to do almost the complete opposite- moving away from commercial products. The point for me is that I wanted to get into a new habit - it's more about taking time to spend on myself and less about whether the creams actually do any good!! And when I say spend time on myself it's not in a selfish way, moreover, in a 'Karen, don't be lazy,neglectful and dismissive' sort of way!
It got me to thinking about habits and I read that 90 percent of our actions are habitual. Also, that ' life is nothing more than the sum total of many successful years; a successful year is nothing more than the sum total of many successful months; a successful month is nothing more than the sum total of many successful weeks;a successful week is nothing more than the sum total of many successful days. That's why practising successful habits, day in and day out, is the most certain way to win over the long term'.
So, my new daily 'cleansing' habit is clearly not going to make me successful, in itself, but maybe, just maybe for me it's a good choice to be making.

Week 5 - indulgence day!!

It's the eighth week of the year already and I must say that I'm loving my 50th year so far.
I can tell you that my 2nd cousin and I are now corresponding regularly and I hope we'll meet up again later in the year.
I marked the fifth week by spending a whole day being indulged!
I've got to admit to not historically being very good at taking time out for myself.I guess there's several reasons for that which I recognise.
 One would be my belief that you should work hard and sitting around and not always being'busy' is somehow lazy. I assume this is a message I learnt in childhood, although I don't think it was taught as such, but I do remember phrases like,'if a job's worth doing it's worth doing well' and 'the devil finds work for idle hands'.
Another reason would be that being a mother of 4 (well, actually, just being a mother full stop) you kind of get used to putting the kids first and finding time for yourself is really difficult especially when they're little. For me, carving out me time was never easy!
Now, I've really no excuse, and over recent years I've become more practised, but the idea of simply 'indulging' has taken longer to accept! Indulgence is all about luxury and extravagance and can have that negative connotation of indulging a child or overeating at Christmas etc. However, I have come to realise it doesn't have to be bad and in fact treating yourself is a really very excellent and healthy thing to do. After all, as the advert will tell you 'you're worth it'!!
 Seriously though, the indulgence day was amazing and not just for the reasons cited above. My mother in law is currently caring for her terminally ill husband and really benefitted from some time off and relaxation. We were able to enjoy a few very special hours together during a very difficult period for our family.
I think this shows perfectly, not only how important taking time out and being indulged is, but also how necessary it can be.

week 4 - coffee with.....!

First of all, I must apologise for all of you who have been eagerly awaiting the next installment of the blog!! I haven't given up already on my 50 things, don't worry! It's just the reporting that has slowed down!
For several of my weeks I wanted to meet up and have coffee with a range of people that a)-I hoped to get to know better and b)-I hadn't previously spent any one on one time with. It's something I love to do - connect with people, talk, listen and of course drink coffee, tea and sometimes even eat cake!!
In our frenetic, crowded and often clock-driven lives I think we can easily lose the importance and value of simply sitting still, taking some time out and spending time building relationships.
I came across a you tube video recently where a dying college professor was addressing his students. It was pretty inspirational and sort of expresses some of what I'm saying here about the significant things in life. I agree with the professor - for me it's always about people and not about 'things'.
As this is a landmark year for me I want it to mean something; to take up some new hobby, to overcome some fears, to make a difference and definitely to invest more time in my relationships.
Here's the link to the clip if you're interested.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WmryhioApY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 I'm not going to detail here whom I had coffee with as that would be potentially embarrassing for them but suffice to say it was a wonderful time which we both enjoyed. Vanilla latte....... Mmmmm!!!

Week - 3 Cakes!!!

Week - 3. It's been all about cakes!

There's a bit of a tradition of taking cakes or similar into school when it's your birthday so since it was my actual 50th this week, it seemed a perfect time to do my 'take cakes into school every day for a week' challenge!
If you're reading this and you don't know, I'm a peripatetic teacher, meaning I travel to different schools during a week, so don't worry I wasn't inflicting too many sweet and calorific goodies on just one establishment! There were in fact 4 schools which received my baking and they seemed to go down ok. On Monday I took 2 dozen cupcakes, Tuesday it was carrot cake muffins, Wednesday is my day off so I had time to get baking again for the 2 schools on Thursday! One of those got white chocolate and cranberry cookies and the other some more cupcakes! It was a busy week but very enjoyable. It gave me the opportunity to talk to people about what I'm doing and hopefully spice up break and dinner time a little.
I have even managed to remember to take some pictures and upload them into this blog so I'm quite impressed with myself- not bad for a 50 year old, ha,ha!!!
See you next time

Week 2 - now for something completely different!

Week 2 and I thought I'd give you some of the things I already have on my list. Thanks for reading the first blog by the way - who knows maybe some of you will join me on some of these 'interesting' challenges or even try them yourselves.
So, let's see:

• Riding the mile long zip wire across Bethesda quarry
• Watching the sunrise
• Sleeping out under the stars
• Paying for someone's shopping in the supermarket queue
• Sailing a boat
• Helping out at a homeless charity
• Living on a pound a day for a week
• Write a poem and get it published
• Ski
• Swim at midnight
• Turn up at an airport with a weekend bag and go to wherever the next available flight takes me (I guess within a certain budget, unless anyone fancies sponsoring me!!!??)

See what I mean? Quite a random bunch of stuff and of course that's just a sample!

Back to this week then! - week 2 has been all about writing to someone I'd never contacted before. This was one of my original ideas and incredibly the choice has become so obvious.

Just before Christmas I attended my uncle's funeral and met up with my second cousin who I realised was the only remaining relative left on my mother's side of the family. My mum died when I was 21 and then my maternal grandparents and gradually the links to my ancestors were being lost and I didn't really acknowledge it. Until December in the crem when it occurred to me that I didn't know the early stories from my mum's family and that 'cousin Sallie' was my only link left alive.

So I've written to Sallie this week and who knows maybe in my 50th year, I'll get to explore my family tree a little? After all family is important and so are landmark events. I figure they're both about understanding your world a bit better. I'll let you know how I get on.

Happy new year and welcome to my very first challenge!

Well, here we are in week one of my 50th year and last year as I was thinking of how to mark my half century I decided to set myself some challenges!
Of course I foolishly thought that doing 50 things over 50 weeks was a novel and original idea (I know, how naïve was I??)
Anyway, it's a first for me so that's what is important. I wanted to do things that I'd never done before; some dramatic and slightly scary; some very altruistic (and mostly suggested by my generous daughter!); some a little costly and a lot very simple indeed! After all I do still have to hold down a job!
So, I kicked off the year by organising a new year/50th birthday celebration for 30+friends and family at a brilliant place in West Wales. That's actually a bit of a cheat because it was mostly to do with last year but hey!
This week is my first genuine number 1. Write a blog! For all you thoroughly modern and technically gifted people out there, no biggie (is that actually a word?), but for a Luddite like me it's a stretch I can tell you! I have a new mini tablet and a very long suffering teenage son who's my exasperated tutor! Apologies therefore if this blog is not going to win any awards but hopefully as we go through the year it will improve.
I intend to log all my 50 things on here but I need your help! At the moment I only have about 30 things, so I welcome your ideas.
OK, well that's the writing bit finished let's see if I can post it now!?