Numbers 12 and 13 of my 50 things took place in the same week.
Attend a comedy night and visit a hospice! I had done neither of these things ever before and the fact that they collided into the same seven day period was quite interesting and fairly poignant.
I think it's remarkable that we can be crying desperately sad tears one moment and then be laughing uncontrollably the next! - it's the joy and celebration of being human.
I can hardly believe that I'd never been into a hospice before, after all I've had quite a few close family and friends die, but often they've been sudden deaths. A hospice is of course a place for the dying, the terminally ill and their carers. Those that know they are in a process; sudden is replaced with an expectation of only one outcome. And no-one can tell you when that outcome will happen.
As you may remember me mentioning before, my father in law is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer and it was towards the end of March that we took him into St.Luke's Hospice in Cheshire. As I write this today, he has in fact just returned home and my praise for the staff in there can't be high enough. There was an atmosphere in there which is extremely difficult to describe. For a place dedicated to the care of the dying, there was a feeling of warmth, of peace, of love and even uncannily of calm.
When I received my tickets to go and see Miranda Hart (comedienne, for the uninitiated!) I had no idea that it would end up being the day before we took Keith up to the hospice. The show was absolutely brilliant, I totally loved it and for someone who doesn't laugh out loud a lot, I did, I laughed out loud! For that 2 hours Miranda transported us out of our own lives, worries and fears and took us on a journey together of shared fun and laughter. Moreover, she inspired us to be free, to be ourselves,to take ourselves a little less seriously and be a bit more child-like.
Humour and hospices can both do an extraordinary thing it seems; they can help you look beyond your own self-interest or self-importance. Now that's no bad thing - I am grateful to both.
Friday 25 April 2014
Week 11 - Encouragement
First of all, thanks for all the encouraging feedback on'the supermarket one'. It was great to hear your comments.
I don't know about you, but I love to hear positive things either about me or about something I'm doing. Doesn't everybody? Let's be honest, no-one enjoys being told negative stuff or criticism!
So my 11th challenge was to send an encouraging text everyday for a week to someone different. This of course didn't really take up a lot of time or energy but I think what was interesting this week was considering the motivation and the outcomes.
Words can be so powerful, they can bring life or death to a person, (not literally usually!) and be bearers of hope rather than despair. I think some people are natural encouragers; they are warm, compassionate people who regularly think about the needs and feelings of others and find this easy to do. Others can learn to act like this.
I think if you want to be positive and encouraging in order to get something back for yourself, then your motivation is surely wrong. To cheer someone on, in whatever way, must be just that, - a desire to see them succeed, perform well, get better, achieve a goal, keep going, believe there's hope etc.
This of course means your responses won't be always as you expect and your encouragement won't necessarily precede immediate success or life changing circumstances for people. But then again that's not the point - encourage anyway!
I don't know about you, but I love to hear positive things either about me or about something I'm doing. Doesn't everybody? Let's be honest, no-one enjoys being told negative stuff or criticism!
So my 11th challenge was to send an encouraging text everyday for a week to someone different. This of course didn't really take up a lot of time or energy but I think what was interesting this week was considering the motivation and the outcomes.
Words can be so powerful, they can bring life or death to a person, (not literally usually!) and be bearers of hope rather than despair. I think some people are natural encouragers; they are warm, compassionate people who regularly think about the needs and feelings of others and find this easy to do. Others can learn to act like this.
I think if you want to be positive and encouraging in order to get something back for yourself, then your motivation is surely wrong. To cheer someone on, in whatever way, must be just that, - a desire to see them succeed, perform well, get better, achieve a goal, keep going, believe there's hope etc.
This of course means your responses won't be always as you expect and your encouragement won't necessarily precede immediate success or life changing circumstances for people. But then again that's not the point - encourage anyway!
Wednesday 9 April 2014
Week 10 - ' The supermarket one!'
The 10th challenge already, which means a fifth of the way there! I think I have found this weeks' the most difficult to do to date. I haven't gone out of my comfort zone much so far and this one was definitely going to do this!
For those of you who have been following my blog you may remember the week that I was going to 'pay for someone's shopping at the supermarket'. When people heard about this they said things like,'ooh, let me know when you're going and I'll get in line' or 'make sure you go to Lidl and find someone with a basket' or even,'ooh, you're so good'. Let me say to these people that Lidl was always going to be the only option as it's practically the only place where I shop and I'm really not that good judging by how nervous I was! - I mean, how good can you be if you're nervous about doing a kindness for someone?
I have to admit, therefore, to having chickened out on my first intentioned visit. I thought I needed to search for a 'worthy' recipient, so I sort of stalked people around the store and then tried to race them to the checkout. In the end the very nice woman didn't seem to fit the bill. I was laughable and a bit pathetic.
Following this farcical charade, I realised the challenge was to simply perform an act of random kindness; I wasn't conducting a sociological survey for goodness sake! Random act, random choice. I determined to pay for the shopping of whoever came next to me in the queue. That's exactly what happened on my next visit.
The utterly amazed, elderly lady who generously and graciously accepted my offer asking the obvious question why, was completely overwhelmed. I say generous by the way because I believe it's sometimes more difficult to receive than to give especially in these days of cynicism and suspicion. Fortunately, Anna was trusting and required no persuading that I was neither a con-artist nor a wierdo and we enjoyed a lovely conversation over the groceries! She said lots of lovely things (not least that I didn't look 50!) - no seriously and much more importantly she said it was the nicest thing that had ever happened to her and that her friend Connie outside in the car-park would be equally amazed. They kept shaking their heads in wonder and incredulity and were encouraged 'that there were still nice people in the world'.
All in all, this random act of kindness cost me very little financially, just a certain amount of courage to overcome my fear of looking a fool, but for a lonely older lady, I like to think an extraordinary encounter gave her a little joy and warmed her heart on an otherwise very ordinary day.
For those of you who have been following my blog you may remember the week that I was going to 'pay for someone's shopping at the supermarket'. When people heard about this they said things like,'ooh, let me know when you're going and I'll get in line' or 'make sure you go to Lidl and find someone with a basket' or even,'ooh, you're so good'. Let me say to these people that Lidl was always going to be the only option as it's practically the only place where I shop and I'm really not that good judging by how nervous I was! - I mean, how good can you be if you're nervous about doing a kindness for someone?
I have to admit, therefore, to having chickened out on my first intentioned visit. I thought I needed to search for a 'worthy' recipient, so I sort of stalked people around the store and then tried to race them to the checkout. In the end the very nice woman didn't seem to fit the bill. I was laughable and a bit pathetic.
Following this farcical charade, I realised the challenge was to simply perform an act of random kindness; I wasn't conducting a sociological survey for goodness sake! Random act, random choice. I determined to pay for the shopping of whoever came next to me in the queue. That's exactly what happened on my next visit.
The utterly amazed, elderly lady who generously and graciously accepted my offer asking the obvious question why, was completely overwhelmed. I say generous by the way because I believe it's sometimes more difficult to receive than to give especially in these days of cynicism and suspicion. Fortunately, Anna was trusting and required no persuading that I was neither a con-artist nor a wierdo and we enjoyed a lovely conversation over the groceries! She said lots of lovely things (not least that I didn't look 50!) - no seriously and much more importantly she said it was the nicest thing that had ever happened to her and that her friend Connie outside in the car-park would be equally amazed. They kept shaking their heads in wonder and incredulity and were encouraged 'that there were still nice people in the world'.
All in all, this random act of kindness cost me very little financially, just a certain amount of courage to overcome my fear of looking a fool, but for a lonely older lady, I like to think an extraordinary encounter gave her a little joy and warmed her heart on an otherwise very ordinary day.
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