Week 14- fly-fishing

On my first Friday of no work (My extra teaching hours came to an end) John asked me if I fancied going fly-fishing!
Of course I said yes, but I have to confess that it had more to do with completing a challenge and spending time with my husband than netting a large fish!
Anyway, I had never fished before and so in the spirit of my 50 things I went with an open mind. I wish I'd also gone with a few more layers of clothing!! We went in a boat on Llyn Brenig, not too far from Denbigh. It was an overcast sort of day and didn't seem too cold at first, but then the wind seemed to get up and after a few hours I thought I'd lost all feeling in my feet!
John got quite frustrated that neither of us had caught anything after a few hours but I wasn't bothered. I think maybe it was the male'hunter/gatherer' thing and the competitiveness against the other fishermen (yes, men, I didn't see any other women) It just didn't effect me like that at all. I could have had a nice leisurely ride in the boat and that would have been me happy.
I know there's keen fishermen and probably all Alpha males screaming incredulity at me right now! I'm sorry, just not wired that way!
However, just before we returned to dry land, guess who had a bite on their line?? Yes me. John was very excited and very encouraging; I on the other hand was a little bit alarmed.I asked him to take the line, but he graciously wanted me to have the achievement. Apparently I did a great job and was congratulated thoroughly, but I still didn't get it! - I mean what had I done apart from hold the line? Just that it seems, and held it well, taut and upright! John netted the 'enormous'  trout for me (nearly 3lbs) and then I started to squeal like a girl when he picked up the hammer and did the deed. I know, pathetic wasn't I? Why had it not occurred to me already that that would need to happen??
A natural angler I am not!! Let's just say I didn't take to fly fishing like a 'trout to water '
Fantastic experience though and a good-looking fish - not to mention the very attractive tutor!!

ps- on Good Friday we found out !the trout tasted good too!

Week 12 and 13 - Tears and laughter

Numbers 12 and 13 of my 50 things took place in the same week.
Attend a comedy night and visit a hospice! I had done neither of these things ever before and the fact that they collided into the same seven day period was quite interesting and fairly poignant.
I think it's remarkable that we can be crying desperately sad tears one moment and then be laughing uncontrollably the next! - it's the joy and celebration of being human.
I can hardly believe that I'd never been into a hospice before, after all I've had quite a few close family and friends die, but often they've been sudden deaths. A hospice is of course a place for the dying, the terminally ill and their carers. Those that know they are in a process; sudden is replaced with an expectation of only one outcome. And no-one can tell you when that outcome will happen.
As you may remember me mentioning before, my father in law is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer and it was towards the end of March that we took him into St.Luke's Hospice in Cheshire. As I write this today, he has in fact just returned home and my praise for the staff in there can't be high enough. There was an atmosphere in there which is extremely difficult to describe. For a place dedicated to the care of the dying, there was a feeling of warmth, of peace, of love and even uncannily of calm.
When I received my tickets to go and see Miranda Hart (comedienne, for the uninitiated!) I had no idea that it would end up being the day before we took Keith up to the hospice. The show was absolutely brilliant, I totally loved it and for someone who doesn't laugh out loud a lot, I did, I laughed out loud! For that 2 hours Miranda transported us out of our own lives, worries and fears and took us on a journey together of shared fun and laughter. Moreover, she inspired us to be free, to be ourselves,to take ourselves a little less seriously and be a bit more child-like.
Humour and hospices can both do an extraordinary thing it seems; they can help you look beyond your own self-interest or self-importance. Now that's no bad thing - I am grateful to both.

Week 11 - Encouragement

First of all, thanks for all the encouraging feedback on'the supermarket one'. It was great to hear your comments.
I don't know about you, but I love to hear positive things either about me or about something I'm doing. Doesn't everybody? Let's be honest, no-one enjoys being told negative stuff or criticism!
So my 11th challenge was to send an encouraging text everyday for a week to someone different. This of course didn't really take up a lot of time or energy but I think what was interesting this week was considering the motivation and the outcomes.
Words can be so powerful, they can bring life or death to a person, (not literally usually!) and be bearers of hope rather than despair. I think some people are natural encouragers; they are warm, compassionate people who regularly think about the needs and feelings of others and find this easy to do. Others can learn to act like this.
 I think if you want to be positive and encouraging in order to get something back for yourself, then your motivation is surely wrong. To cheer someone on, in whatever way, must be just that, - a desire to see them succeed, perform well, get better, achieve a goal, keep going, believe there's hope etc.
This of course means your responses won't be always as you expect and your encouragement won't necessarily precede immediate success or life changing circumstances for people. But then again that's not the point - encourage anyway!

Week 10 - ' The supermarket one!'

The 10th challenge already, which means a fifth of the way there! I think I have found this weeks' the most difficult to do to date. I haven't gone out of my comfort zone much so far and this one was definitely going to do this!
For those of you who have been following my blog you may remember the week that I was going to 'pay for someone's shopping at the supermarket'. When people heard about this they said things like,'ooh, let me know when you're going and I'll get in line' or 'make sure you go to Lidl and find someone with a basket' or even,'ooh, you're so good'. Let me say to these people that Lidl was always going to be the only option as it's practically the only place where I shop and I'm really not that good judging by how nervous I was! - I mean, how good can you be if you're nervous about doing a kindness for someone?
I have to admit, therefore, to having chickened out on my first intentioned visit. I thought I needed to search for a 'worthy' recipient, so I sort of stalked people around the store and then tried to race them to the checkout. In the end the very nice woman didn't seem to fit the bill. I was laughable and a bit pathetic.
Following this farcical charade, I realised the challenge was to simply perform an act of random kindness; I wasn't conducting a sociological survey for goodness sake! Random act, random choice. I determined to pay for the shopping of whoever came next to me in the queue. That's exactly what happened on my next visit.
The utterly amazed, elderly lady who generously and graciously accepted my offer asking the obvious question why, was completely overwhelmed. I say generous by the way because I believe it's sometimes more difficult to receive than to give especially in these days of cynicism and suspicion. Fortunately, Anna was trusting and required no persuading that I was neither a con-artist nor a wierdo and we enjoyed a lovely conversation over the groceries! She said lots of lovely things (not least that I didn't look 50!) - no seriously and much more importantly she said it was the nicest thing that had ever happened to her and that her friend Connie outside in the car-park would be equally amazed. They kept shaking their heads in wonder and incredulity and were encouraged 'that there were still nice people in the world'.
All in all, this random act of kindness cost me very little financially, just a certain amount of courage to overcome my fear of looking a fool, but for a lonely older lady, I like to think an extraordinary encounter gave her a little joy and warmed her heart on an otherwise very ordinary day.

Week 9 - The Vardre.

For those of you who don't live in the Llandudno/Colwyn Bay areas, you will now be asking yourselves, what is the Vardre? And those of you who are local and are also wondering what I'm talking about ...... shame on you!!!!
Seriously though, the point is actually shame on me, because the Vardre is a local hill just between Deganwy and Llanrhos and overlooking llandudno,Conwy and towards Anglesey - and it was put on my list as until a few weeks ago I'd never climbed to its summit! (or been anywhere near it for that matter!) So, my 50 things list includes a few local walks and beauty spots which after this year will no longer be undiscovered to me!
On this particular afternoon I couldn't persuade the men in my family to accompany me (I'm doing them a disservice, I'm sure they were meaningfully engaged in some other activity) However, our black lab, Harvey, never takes any persuading and so, with him, his lead, my back-pack, my route printed out, my camera and my glasses I was ready!
It was a perfect winter's day; the sun was shining, the sky was blue, it was a welcome change after all the rain and heavy storms. The only complications were the stiles and my failing eyesight!
The first, I had anticipated and I was just hoping that somehow, miraculously, Harvey might have learnt how to climb those 2-stepped type stiles since last we trekked the countryside.
He hadn't!! Can I just say, Harvey is a big labrador and I congratulate myself on man-handling (carrying would be nowhere near the right word!!) him over at least 2 of these nasty structures! Fortunately, the other fields and paths were connected with either those step-ladder type stiles or those altogether better and much preferred by both me and Harvey, kissing gates.
The second complication was again not entirely down to my lack of preparation (ex-girlguide, I like to be prepared!)I did have my glasses with which to read my route, but I hadn't really fathomed out how I was going to keep them accessible for when I needed to check my directions. The tried and tested, and now only too familiar habit of mine, to stick them on my head, proved to be grossly inefficient and incongruous with climbing, hauling dogs and trudging through mud. A lot of mud!! Suffice to say, I think I'll invest in one of those older ladies',string round your neck devices for keeping my readers handy next time!(yes sorry kids, it has to be done)
Yes, indeed, there will be a next time because despite the two minor complications the walk was glorious, the weather outstanding and the views breathtaking and well worth the climb.
If you've never been up, do it, I'll even join you and go up again.
In the meantime, here are some photos to whet your appetite!

Week 8- Roman Baths

Although I'm fortunate to have visited the thermal pools in New Zealand, I'd never experienced any of these natural spa baths in this country! Crazy that isn't it, how you sometimes have to go to the other side of the world before you do something that is possible much closer to home??
Anyway, I put this on my list as soon as my second daughter Megan got a job in Bath.We went to visit at half term and decided to take the plunge! (ha,ha,do you like what I did there?)
The thermal Roman baths were brilliant, really very relaxing and so warm and luxurious. We had 2 hours and could enjoy the basement pool, the steam rooms and the amazing, open-air rooftop pool overlooking the city. It was a beautifully sunny day and one of those occasions when you're simply glad to be alive.
I had a friend who used to be very fond of saying 'we're so lucky' whenever we were having a particularly great day, holiday or experience. Another favourite was, ' we should live while we're alive'. She was right!
I definitely believe in making the most of and appreciating the simple pleasures in life. Although it's a cliché, it's true that none of us know how many of these special days we'll have so it's important to savour them, enjoy them and be thankful.
Therefore,to my amazing friend, Karen, who unexpectedly and shockingly died at the age of 47, yes, I am lucky, and I'll always remember your wise and  inspirational words.

As an after thought,I must say to any of you who are wondering how I get from Roman baths to ' inspirational words' - I've absolutely no idea either, it just seems to happen!!!

Some pictures then!

Week 7 -A little bit of poetry

I occasionally write a bit of poetry and so I thought it would be good to try and get one printed or published for one of my 50th things.
However, it occurred to me that publishing on a blog was actually quite a challenge for me in itself as I'm not historically very comfortable sharing what I've written!
So here we go; a poem from back in 2008, when all the kids were at home and life was quite frenetic and very different than it is now! Its title is 'unspoken' so it seems quite apt.

Unspoken

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman, or is it only me

that feels that there are just too many things,

that seem to go unspoken

Do people know what I'm really like, can they read my thoughts?

can they tell by looking what lurks inside

and see the things unspoken?

Oh I want to talk, I love to talk, that is not the problem

but the hurt, the pain and all the stress and tension,

that's what goes unspoken

Why is it me that never rests and always has to be there?

Why do I not get a day off from all that 'woman's' work

is it a rule unspoken?

Who said I should be the one who has to answer questions?

can someone else not make a decision just for once?

please change that rule unspoken!

If I ask a question am I prying- or just plain annoying?

am I nagging, interrogating and giving advice?

shall I keep my thoughts unspoken?

When everyone's left the dinner table and only I am
 left

who is going to clear the pots - well her of course

it's that other rule unspoken!

Is it only me who thinks such wretched things? am I really horrid?

Does everyone else accept this is their job?

it's the role unspoken

Should I try and make you understand - just where would I start?

I want to tell you how I feel, I think it would be good -

to share my life unspoken

But it's a really scary prospect to let you see inside

what if you don't understand or care, or worse reject me-

perhaps I'll stay unspoken

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman - it can't be only me

I struggle, I fail, I'm sure you do too

let's share our worlds unspoken?

Karen Sadler September 2008